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With social media reigning supreme and huge social and academic pressures, it’s no surprise that teens are facing unprecedented challenges when it comes to their mental well-being. We spoke to experts, parents and kids to understand this phenomenon and what to do about it.
Consider a world where everything you do is on record: from a bad hair day to an embarrassing moment, a low grade, or an altercation between friends. Bad enough to experience first-hand in the moment, now imagine this moment is shared, re-shared and dredged up weeks or months later. Stressful? This is the world our teens have grown up in and all they’ve ever known.
For people in Hong Kong, we even have to be careful what we say – the city is small and sometimes I feel watched. I feel scared to express myself or say what I think because I feel it’s always going to come and “bite” me later.
You know that the stress is real when the teenager who gave us this quote prefers to remain anonymous after having faced bullying as a student in Hong Kong. Being questioned for this article brought added and unexpected pressure.
Read More: 3 Ways To Help Your Child With Everyday Anxiety
What Are The Mental Health Challenges Teens And Kids Face These Days?
There are many reasons a child’s mental health could be affected depend on specific circumstances and the personality of the individual, ranging from bullying to abuse, unusual family dynamics and more. However, there are a few factors that seem to affect all teens and tweens these days.
The pressures of social media
With social media platforms dominating most aspects of their lives, teens are constantly bombarded with curated images of perfection, setting unrealistic standards and fostering feelings of inadequacy.
Sonia Samtani, a leading hypnotherapist and mental health practitioner in Hong Kong says,
The pressure to fit in and portray a flawless image online can take a significant toll on a teenager’s self-esteem and mental well-being, They’re constantly comparing themselves to their peers, seeking validation through likes and comments, and it’s a never-ending cycle of seeking external approval.
The same teen we spoke to earlier lamented that social media takes away from real life.
It’s depressing because I feel like I get hooked and drawn in and then I sit in bed all day scrolling. Then I end up comparing myself to others and I don’t even want to go outside because I don’t feel good enough.
Read More: How To Take Care Of The Screen Health And Social Media Usage Of Young Kids
Exam anxiety and competition
In addition to the virtual pressures, the relentless pursuit of academic excellence adds another layer of stress to the mix. With the competitive nature of Hong Kong’s education system, teenagers often find themselves caught in a relentless cycle of exams, assignments and extracurricular activities, leaving little time for relaxation or self-care. Though this is changing to some extent, Hong Kong is still a high-expectations city and can leave teens with a “sink or swim” mentality. Sonia Samtani explains,
Many students feel like they’re constantly racing against the clock, striving for perfection in everything they do. The good news is that there are almost always alternative pathways and plans for every young person, however they do at school.
As parents, it’s crucial to strike a balance between supporting our teens’ academic pursuits and prioritising their mental well-being. Creating an open and non-judgmental environment where teens feel comfortable discussing their feelings and concerns is paramount in fostering healthy communication and emotional resilience.
Read More: Back To School Anxiety – 5 Tips For Helping Your Kids Combat Those Nerves
So How Can We Start A Mental Health Conversation With Our Kids?
Most of the work around speaking to children about mental health actually comes much before you notice any issues. Odile Thiang, a Paediatric Nurse Practitioner and lead clinical advisor for the Anti-Stigma Project and trainer at Mind HK, reiterates the importance of inviting kids at every age to express how they are feeling (good or bad).
The most important elements are to listen to them and let them be heard, and to not jump into fix-it mode. What they need from you is a secure space to explore their feelings and emotions.
With younger children you can use play or story time to help them talk about how they are feeling, using characters from their play or stories to explore emotions. While older children appreciate it when parents are forthcoming, open and non-judgmental.
Read More: How To Talk To Your Teen – 9 Effective Communication Tips
Teen Anxiety & Mental Health Warning Signs To Watch Out For
Behavioural Shifts
If your teen is suddenly more moody than usual, or they’re pulling a Houdini act and disappearing into their room for hours on end, it might be time to have a heart-to-heart.
Slipping Grades
Straight-A student now struggling to keep up? It could be a sign that they’re buckling under the pressure. Time to play detective and figure out what’s really going on.
Sleep Suffering
Are late-night study sessions turning into sleepless nights? Keep an eye out for any changes in your teen’s sleep patterns – it could be a red flag for underlying stress.
Social Hibernation
If your once-social butterfly is suddenly cocooning themselves away from friends and family, it’s worth investigating. Loneliness and isolation are no joke.
Physical Pains
Headaches, stomachaches, mysterious aches and pains – if your teen is constantly complaining about feeling under the weather, it might not just be a case of the sniffles. Stress can manifest in weird and wonderful ways.
Read More: Alternative Therapy In Hong Kong – Acupuncture, Reiki And More
How To Support Your Child Through Anxiety & Mental Health Challenges
Anxiety often stems from being unduly attached to a certain outcome, such as a particular grade, relationship status, feeling, etc. The two fears that most often cause anxiety are the fear of failure and the fear of rejection. Usually, teens suffer from both these fears. As a parent, if you’re feeling helpless and don’t know how to support your child, here’s what you can do. First and foremost, provide unconditional love. Secondly, encourage your child to take breaks, engage in activities they enjoy, and prioritise self-care. Sonia adds,
It’s essential to remind them that their worth isn’t determined by their grades or social media presence, and that it’s okay not to be okay sometimes.
By recognising the signs of potential mental health issues and with uninterrupted love and support, parents can empower their children to navigate through adolescence. Teens will recognise that while the outcome may not always be within their control, their actions and mindset can be powerful tools for growth. They can then develop the confidence to confront anxiety head-on and navigate life’s uncertainties with grace and resilience.
Read More: Raising Resilient Hong Kong Kids By Teaching Them Happiness
Editor’s Note: “Mental Health For Kids: How To Start The Conversation” was originally published by Team Sassy Mama in March 2022. It has been updated by Sarah Keates in May 2024 with quotes from teenagers, parents and mental health experts in Hong Kong, including the author’s friends, family and clients along with quotes from Odile Thiang, interviewed for the previous article.
